Hosting a kid’s birthday party is a rite of passage for most parents and their children — but if you’re not careful, it can be an expensive one.

Things can start off innocently enough, with a smash cake and a few balloons on your baby’s first birthday. But as they grow, so do the expectations — and the price tag. In 2024, the pregnancy and parenting site What to Expect surveyed 404 women and found that, on average, they spend $314 on a child’s birthday party.

That feels low to me, but I live in New York City, where the cost of living is sky-high, and it’s easy to imagine a birthday party at the local trampoline park or play space costing $1,000 or more. Earlier this year, the Cut’s Charlotte Cowles interviewed an NYC-based party planner whose budgets for kids’ parties start at $5,000 and go up from there.

“The sleepover party with teepees is our signature,” the planner told Cowles. “We also do add-ons like spa services, special custom pajamas and robes, scrapbooking, tie-dyeing and movie nights with a big screen.” You can’t deny that it sounds pretty magical — and pricey.

I’ve only ever thrown more low-key birthday parties for my son, who has a summer birthday. For the past few years, we’ve timed his party to our street’s annual block party. I spend a few hundred bucks on snacks and drinks from Costco and toy swords in lieu of gift bags. (My secret is to buy the swords in bulk from a carnival supply company.) The kids have fun running up and down the street, and the grown-ups hang out and enjoy some adult beverages. Even when it started to rain, no one wanted to go home, which I think is a sign of a good time.

In an era where much is made about the loneliness epidemic and how our lives are mostly lived online and not IRL, there’s something special about a kid’s birthday party and using it as an opportunity to connect with friends and loved ones. Sure, you might end up shelling out a few hundred bucks or more, but (and I know this sounds cheesy!) the memories really are priceless.

As the founder of the Purse and guest editor for Yahoo’s Bank of Mom and Dad series, I love speaking to parents about what they’re spending. Here, four moms open up about what it cost to throw their kids a birthday party — and what’s worth paying extra for.

About you: I work in interior design, and my husband is a federal employee. We have one son and two dogs, and we live in a single-family home not far from where I grew up. We’re pretty good with money, and we use YNAB to plan and track our spending, especially as my husband had to pay off substantial student loans.

Age: I’m 42, and my husband is 41.

Location: Northern Virginia

Family income range: $200K+

Kid’s age: 11

About your birthday party: Our son’s birthday is in February, so that can limit options. This year, we bought skate passes for him and nine of his friends at the local indoor rink for a two-hour session on a Sunday afternoon. We picked up gourmet cookies from a local shop for their post-skate treat. The moms hung out in the lobby and chatted while the dads walked to a nearby brewery for a drink. (The brewery visit was not part of the party budget!)

How much did the birthday party cost? $158.70

Itemized list of the birthday party expenses:

• 10 kids’ passes for a local indoor ice rink: $110 ($11 each)

• Gourmet cookies: $48.70

How did you decide the budget for the birthday party? I knew how many kids we wanted to invite, and I knew we didn’t want to repeat activities he’s done for prior birthdays, so that sort of set the budget. He was thrilled with the ice-skating idea as his school had done an event there, and he loved it.

Did you discuss the budget with your child? We let him know how many kids we could invite, and we gave him activity options to choose from that fit within our budget. When he turned 5, we did a big activity-based party that was around $500, and we invited his whole class. Since then, we’ve found other, less expensive activities to do with smaller groups: a home-based escape room, cupcakes at a school playground, trampoline park (without the party room), snow tubing during COVID (though that was an hour away and a little more expensive, but still a novel idea). He’s almost 12 now and just wants to hang with his friends.

How do you feel about what you spent on the party? I was happy to stay under $200! The difference went toward a birthday dinner out for the three of us.

Do you feel pressure to throw an elaborate birthday party? Nope. The parents we know are pretty like-minded, so I don’t feel the need to impress or one-up them or the kids. Our son is easy to please and open to new ideas, so that helps. I also hate the goody bags of cheap plastic crap that lingers for years untouched, so I don’t want to put that on other parents. Though I did give out MrBeast candy bars one year, and they were a hit.

How did the party go? It was great! The kids don’t need much when it really comes down to it.

About you: I’m a working mom who is trying to keep up with the Joneses in Brownstone Brooklyn. I work in finance, and I’m very conscious and knowledgeable about living within/below my means.

Age: 44

Location: Brooklyn, N.Y.

Family income range: Around $500,000

Kid’s age: 5

About your birthday party: We threw our daughter’s 5th birthday party at an indoor playground and play space. It was a two-hour event where the children were able to play for 90 minutes, and then we did pizza and cake. We invited everyone in her preschool class, so having to find a venue to accommodate 25-plus kids elevated the costs.

How much did the birthday party cost? $2,100

Itemized list of the birthday party expenses:

• Venue and food: $1,600

• Cake: $130

• Invitations: $50

• Goody bags: $250, which included custom cookies and various tchotchkes like stickers, sunglasses, fidget toys, Squishmallows, etc.

• Other party supplies: $70 for snacks, cutlery, plates, napkins, etc.

How did you decide the budget for the birthday party? The venue and number of guests dictated the budget and took up the bulk of the spend. We are still at the age where the entire class is invited, so we had to find a place that was big enough to accommodate 25-plus kids. However, I budget for our household on an annual basis and had already built these costs into the budget because I knew it was going to be expensive.

Did you discuss the budget with your child? No. She’s too young and doesn’t understand the concept of a budget.

How do you feel about what you spent on the party? It was a lot, but well worth it. Our daughter was super excited about the party and the theme. Afterward, she couldn’t stop talking about how much fun she had with her friends.

Do you feel pressure to throw an elaborate birthday party? The majority of the birthday parties my daughter attends are similar in venue and cost, so I feel pressure to throw something similar for her.

How did the party go? Excellent! My daughter still talks about how much fun she had at her birthday party. Every time we pass the venue, she reminds me that she had her birthday party there.

About you: My husband and I are both engineers, and we like to spend a lot of time outside as a family of four. We are fighting the constant battle of trying not to be overscheduled while letting the kids try activities that they love. We’re also trying to balance a two-career family with no extended family living nearby.

Age: 35

Location: Baltimore

Family income range: Around $250,000 to $275,000

Kids’ ages: 7 and 4

About your birthday party: The past few years, we have had a “stream party” at our local park. Everyone wears bathing suits or clothes that can get wet, we walk about half a mile from the park parking lot to the stream and the kids play in the stream for two hours. We bring pizza and cake, and it is very low-key!

How much did the birthday party cost? This year, about $200 total.

Itemized list of the birthday party expenses:

• Pizza: $150

• Ice cream: $20

• Hot Wheels cars for party favors: $20

How did you decide the budget for the birthday party? We decided the budget for the birthday party based on other things we had budgeted for this year, mainly travel. It was also probably about the most minimal birthday party we could choose that included all of the friends that my kids wanted to invite. Feeding 20 people pizza still costs a bit, but it is the easiest crowdpleaser.

Did you discuss the budget with your child? We did discuss saving money to be able to spend it on other things we want and like, such as travel or a new house. This summer, we traveled to Germany to visit a relative, so we discussed how saving money would allow us to take this trip again. We did not talk about a specific budget for the party, but more in generalized terms.

How do you feel about what you spent on the party? I feel OK with this low-key option for a party. In the past, we have spent much more having it at a real birthday party location. The kids always enjoy a stream party, and we love spending time outside. Other, more standard parties around us cost between $500 and $600 for a two-hour time slot.

Do you feel pressure to throw an elaborate birthday party? I do a little bit, because we had an elaborate party a few years ago, and my son continued to ask about it. Most other school friends have parties at these standard birthday party locations. It helps to have close friends who don’t mind spending the afternoon in the woods and stream getting dirty!

How did the party go? Great! Everyone wore their bathing suits, found critters to put in clear leftover takeout containers and enjoyed pizza and ice cream on the stream bank or perched on rocks within the stream. This has become our low-key default party, as both our kids have summer birthdays.

About you: My partner and I are both from the tristate area and now live in NYC with our two kids. We started our careers in the nonprofit and public sectors, but we moved into roles in tech (my husband) and professional services (me), and are now earning much higher incomes. We manage our household expenses with an annual forecast that allots up to $2,000 for kids’ birthday-related expenses.

Age: 38

Location: New York

Family income range: Around $395K before taxes

Kids’ ages: One is almost 5 and the other is about to be 1

About your birthday party: We’re hosting a birthday party for my 5-year-old daughter at a local kids’ play space. This is the first “parent drop-off party” we’ve hosted (very exciting for our daughter, who thinks she’s 25). It’s a pajama party on a Friday night, so other parents could have a date night for themselves, I hope! The party is managed entirely by the staff, and we have exclusive use of the space during the party time.

How much did the birthday party cost? $1,644

Itemized list of the birthday party expenses:

• Baseline package: $784 and includes a 90-minute party for 11 kids, plus paper party goods, cake, pizza, water, juice, party favors and a balloon for each child. (I got a 20% discount because I booked in July and the party is in November.)

• Extra children fee: $270 ($30 per child for each child after we hit the 11-kid limit. We have 20 children total attending.)

• An additional 30 minutes for use of space and party hosts: $200 (so the party can be two hours total, from 6 to 8 p.m.)

• Themed craft add-on: $100 (slime making!)

• Three pizzas for adults: $90

• Tip for party hosts: $200 ($50 per host for four hosts)

How did you decide the budget for the birthday party? This year, we allocated up to $2,000 per year for kids’ birthday-related expenses in our household budget (this includes gifts), and we try to stay under this amount. This is based on previous spending (which has been between $1,000 and $1,500 for previous birthday parties) and what we understand pricing to be in NYC for kids’ parties. I usually start considering venues/ideas in the summer (around five months prior to the target date), as sometimes venues will offer discounts for booking so early.

Did you discuss the budget with your child? With regard to this birthday, my daughter has said she also wants to bring “goody bags” to school for her classmates to be fair to everyone, as only a handful are attending the party. In general, we talk about money from the perspective of making trade-offs and prioritization. In the goody bag example, I appreciate her democratic approach, but we’ve explained that of the money we have in our piggy bank (our budget) we can afford the party, but not the goody bags and the party. She thinks this isn’t fair to her classmates, but she does seem to understand the idea of being selective about what we spend on.

How do you feel about what you spent on the party? I think living in NYC, there’s an up-charge for everything, especially children’s parties. (Of course, there are even price differences between ZIP codes.) I feel “good” knowing that this party is at the lower end of the spectrum for local play space party costs, but I also know that if I were to drive an hour into New Jersey, the same type of party would be half the price. If my child had a summer birthday, I would certainly try for the simple public park party with cake and pizza, and I certainly find myself longing for the days of ’90s-era birthday parties held in a family’s living room or backyard with minimal bells and whistles. But, while I live in NYC and have young kids, I feel like these prices just come with the territory. I’m hopeful that as my kids get older and their interests evolve, the costs will decrease. How about a trip to the mall with Mom’s credit card — up to a set amount — or pedicures-with-a-best-friend kind of birthday?!

Do you feel pressure to throw an elaborate birthday party? My child certainly expects a birthday party, and she has specific requests for where it should be (i.e., different local play spaces). I get the sense from other parents that birthday parties are seen as either a weekend scheduling nuisance or an easy way to have their child occupied, whatever the activity may be. (A few think of it as a fun way to socialize with other parents, and I usually try to be in this camp.) Now that our kids are at an age where they can be dropped off somewhere, I was excited by the prospect of hosting a drop-off party on a Friday night. I see it almost as a gift to other parents — something I would take full advantage of if my child were attending — to grab a dinner with my partner across the street, etc.

How did the party go? The party is happening in November. But like past parties, I imagine it will go fast, and my child will have a minor critique but will ask to do it again. My daughter has critiqued everything — the chocolate cake not being chocolaty enough, the rainbow decorations weren’t the right rainbow colors or even that the goody bags weren’t fun enough — but she is always very happy with the event and loves being a host to her friends. Although, I think for my youngest, we will wait until he is turning at least 3 or 4 before throwing him a birthday party.